A Lesson in Perspective
Why are directions so hard to give? And so hard, when given, to understand?
Meeting For Coffee
“Sure, I’ll meet you at Starbucks,” I told my sister. I hate coffee, but I really wanted to spend some time with her before her weedding. “Which one are you guys at?”
“Oh, the one up north, at 55 and 461,” she replied. “You know, over by Lowe’s.”
I had just been to that very shopping center earlier today, and I knew of no such establishment. “Oh…right. How do you get there again?”
“Well it’s right there, you know, over by Lowe’s.” Hadn’t she already told me that?
“You mean that little coffee stand out in the parking lot by Wal-Mart?”
“No, it’s a walk-in place. You get to it before you come to all those restaurants.”
Now we were getting somewhere. I continued my discussion with her, getting very detailed directions to the Starbucks where she was waiting, that I had no idea 5 minutes ago was there. But the directions just didn’t make sense.
“Sis, with the directions you give, it seems like the Starbucks should be taking up the same space as the Interstate exit. How on earth do I get there?
“Let’s see if I’ve got this straight. I get off the Interstate and turn right…”
“Oh! You’re coming from the Interstate?”
Where Are You Coming From?
Our miscommunication had a lot to do with the fact that I was physically coming from a different place than my sister thought. The directions she gave were great directions, and they would have easily got me where I needed to go, except for one thing. Her starting point and my starting point were different.
I’ve noticed this is a common source of miscommunication, not just when giving directions to a physical place but when communicating ideas in general. The vocabularies we use can have different meanings depending on where our listener is coming from, on what his or her perspective is.
I encourage you, the next time you feel like you’re having a hard time communicating something, take a little bit of time to consider this. Where are you coming from, and where is your listener coming from? What’s the difference, and how can you use this knowledge to bridge the communication gap?
Comments
Guinn Terry Davis /// Sep 18, 2007 /// 8:27 pm
Very good point. There’s three different types of knowledge a person has about themselves: what they know about themselves that other people know, too; what they know about themselves that other people don’t know; and what what they don’t know about themselves that other people know. Being willing to listen to objectivity can go a long way in settling matters amicably.